STATE JOKES I

 

ALABAMA

ALASKA

ARIZONA

 

When a visitor to a town in Alabama spotted a dog attacking a boy, he grabbed the dog and throttled it with his bare hands. An impressed reporter saw the incident and told him the next day's headline would scream "Valiant Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious Animal." 

"I'm not from this town," said the hero.

"Then," the reporter said, "it will say, 'Alabama Man Saves Child by Killing Dog.' "

"Actually," said the man, "I'm from New Hampshire."

 

"In that case," the reporter grumbled, "the headline will be 'Yankee Kills Family Pet.' " 

*******************************************

 

An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage. The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked, "Where were you on the night of October to April? 

*******************************************

It' so hot in Arizona, the trees and fire hydrants are competing for dogs.

Credit:

Reader's Digest 

January, 2009

ODD ONE OUT XXVI

1. Which is the odd one out?

     CLIFF

     BOOK

     CLOCK

     PERSON

 

2. Which is the odd one out?

   

     CRASS

     FORTY

     GRAPE

     DRAPE

     REACT

     ROUGE

 

3. Which is the odd one out?

 

    ROCK

    ROLL

    SPREAD

    CROSS

    BUG

 

Answers:

 

1. BOOK - - - The others have faces.

 

2. DRAPE - - - The others become new words by changing the last letter to H.

 

3. CROSS - - - The others can be preceded by BED to make new words.

 

NPR Weekend Edition Sunday Puzzle

October 31, 2021

Will Shortz

 

The answers to each pair of clues below will be realated according to a certain pattern. What are the answers and what is the pattern that connects them?

1. "Semper Fi" guy

    Soak in herbs and spices

2. Go through again

     Uncle or cousin

3. Hunter constellation

    Long speech

4. Sea off Alaska

    Scolding or criticizing harshly

5. Buddhist place of worship

    Pattern used to make multiple copies

6. Voltaire word

    Office seeker

7. Like flypaper

    Like poor radio reception

8. Religious change

    Talking with others

Answers:

 

The pattern is to answer the first clue and then insert the letters AT into it to get the answer to the second clue:

 

1. MARINE - MARINATE

2. RELIVE - RELATIVE

3. ORION - ORATION

4. BERING - BERATING

5. TEMPLE - TEMPLATE

6. CANDIDE - CANDIDATE

7. STICKY - STATICKY

8. CONVERSION - CONVERSATION

NY Times Crossword

October 31, 2021

Alex Eaton-Salners

CHOICE WORDS

 

In this clever puzzle, each pair of clues can be answered with two phrases that contain common choice words - one in each of the phrases. For example, given the clue pair,

Traditional British entree

Least messy

 

the answers would be LIVER AND ONIONS

                                    TIDIEST - - -

phrases containing the choice words DO or DIE

1. Beatles 1968 release, familiarly 

    Negligent

    

2. Noted U.S. rock group

    Consecrates

3. (Military) dismissal instructions

    Use a loud voice to someone

 

4. Hectic trip abroad

    Where hangers hang out 

 

Answers:

 

1. THE WHITE ALBUM

     REMISS 

 

2. MOUNT RUSHMORE

    BLESSES 

 

3. MARCHING ORDERS

    SHOUT AT 

 

4. WHIRLWIND TOUR

     CLOSETS 

                                   

 

ALL CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL

Robert H. Wolfe

 

Answer each clue with two or three words - all the names of animals - used as homophones for the usual words.

 

1. Loved one could escape

2. "Better go to the left or right."

3. Exposes pecs

 

Answers:

 

1. DEER MITE FLEE (deer might flee) 

2. EWE OTTER TERN (you ought to turn)

3. BEARS MUSSELS  (bares muscles) 

The clues below suggest four related expressions. Can you name them?

1. Really delicious

2. Really difficult

3. Really loud

4. Really sad

 

Answers:

 

1. Lip-smacking

2. Mind-bending

3. Ear-splitting

4. Gut-wrenching

 

Credit:

Elizabeth C. Gorski

"REALLY!" 

OUT OF ORDER

Fred Piscop

What do the following words have in common?

1. DANE

2. APES

3. FILE

4. NIGHT

5. STUN

6. EBON (poetic for ebony)

7. THREAT

 

HINTS:

1. The puzzle title is a hint.

2. Think of words that mean "out of order."

Answer:

 

Since the letters are out of order, you can apply such words as mixed, dizzy, funny, etc. This leads to familiar names or phrases:

 

1. Dizzy Dean

2. Split peas

3. Troubled life

4. Wild thing

5. Mixed nuts

6. Funny bone

7. Mad Hatter

 

 

CANINE CHUCKLES

Rich Norris

 

If a Russian dance company for dogs is the BORZOI (Bolshoi) Ballet, what about .............

 

1. Gershwin opera set on Dogfish Row?

2. Dogwood bloom?

3. Dog-eared French plane for short flights?

4. Hot dogs? 

 

Answers:

 

1. Corgie and Bess

2. Collie flower

3. Poodle jumper

4. Toasted beagles 

WSJ Crossword

October 19, 2021

Daniel Britt

(Title shown below)

 

What do the following words have in common?

 

1. EYE

2. DOG

3. REEF

4. POLE

5. HEAD

6. SCRIPT

7. LETTER

 

HINT:

1. Global group

2. It has to do with a preceding word.

Answer:

 

Each clue word can be preceded by a word that names a SEA:

 

1. RED eye

2. YELLOW dog(contract)

3. CORAL reef

4. NORTH pole

5. BLACKhead

6. JAVA script

7. DEAD letter 

 

(HINT 1: Seven Seas)

 

Puzzle title: SET SAIL

 

 

WSJ Crossword 

October 18, 2021

Zhouquin Burnikel

The answers to the first four clues below have something in common that is hinted at by the fifth clue. Can you determine what it is?

1. Dictionary entries in bold type

2. Caused a stir 

3. Tropical air movements

4. Not forward, backward, or diagonal

5. Morning moisture

HINTS:

2. With "made"

Answers:

 

1. GUIDE WORDS

2. MADE WAVES

3. TRADE WINDS

4. SIDEWAYS

5. DEW - - - - - The word DEW is hidden in each of the answers.

WSJ Crossword

October 13, 2021

Morton J. Mendelson

(Puzzle title shown as a hint)

 

The answers to the clues below will have something in common.

 

1. Satiny Elizabethan collar

2. Proprietor of a store in a garret

3. Holy communion in a synogogue?

4. Sound of a high-priced canary

5. Huge ore-extraction company

 

HINT:

Puzzle title: NOT QUITE OPPOSITE

 

Answers:

 

The answer to each clue is a two-word phrase in which the second word is a homophone of the first word's opposite:

 

1. SMOOTH RUFF (rough)

2. ATTIC SELLER (cellar)

3. WRONG RITE (right)

4. COSTLY CHEEP (cheap)

5. MAJOR MINER (minor) 

 

 

FAMILY TIES X

Dell PennyPress Variety Puzzles

March, 2019

 

Each group below contains four unrelated words. Without re-arranging any of the letters, change one letter in each of the words to form four related words. 

 

1. Sheet - Pail - Ruin - Foe

2. Spring - Rum - Dog - Trod

3. Raffle - Drill - Egging - Cringe

4. Board - Shore - Stew - Safe

5. Lamp - Cab - Lawn - Foul

6. Table - Cold - Rome - Twins

Answers:

 

1. Sleet - Hail - Rain - Fog

2. Sprint - Run - Jog - Trot

3. Ruffle - Frill - Edging - Fringe

4. Hoard - Store - Stow - Save

5. Lamb - Cub - Fawn - Foal

6. Cable - Cord - Rope - Twine

ANALOGIES XII

Complete each analogy below. Some may be completed in unexpected ways.

1. ANKLE : FOOT :: WRIST : ________

2. FLOCK : BIRD :: ________ : GEESE

3. CURB : ________ : BANK :: RIVER 

4. BAKER : DOUGH :: _______ : CLAY

5. BASEBOARDS : FLOOR :: ________ : CEILING

6. BATON : CONDUCTOR :: ________ : MAGICIAN

7. SEE : SAW :: BEAR : ________

8. ________ : RADIO :: SNOW : TELEVISION

9. RACKET : COURT :: BAT : ________

10. WOLF : HOWL :: DOG :: ________

11. CUP : GOLF :: ________ : POOL

12. SERGEANT : ESTRANGE :: GENERAL : ________

13. CRACK : CHINA :: ________ : VASE

14. PEA : ________ :: TEA : YOU

15. RAZOR : BEARD :: ________ : GRASS

16. HAMSTER : RODENT :: KOALA : ________

17. NICKEL : QUARTER :: PENNY : ________

18. STRAW : BED :: ________ : CRADLE 

Answers:

1. HAND

2. GAGGLE

3. STREET 

4. POTTER

5.CROWN MOLDING

6. WAND

7. BORE (past tenses)

8. STATIC

9. DIAMOND

10. BAY

11. POCKET

12. ENLARGE (anagrams)

13. CHIP

14. QUEUE (homophones of successive letters of the alphabet)

15. SCYTHE

16. MARSUPIAL

17. NICKEL

18. MANGER 

 

Credit:

GAMES Magazine

October, 1996

Jules Roth

LOW SCORE WINS IV

Dell PennyPress Variety Puzzles

March, 2019

 

In this puzzle, you seek the lowest score possible. Add at least one letter to both sides of the letter groups below to form ten common words - scoring one point per letter added. It can be done with a score of 26. (Six words require the addition of two letters to one side or the other.) No plural S is allowed.

1. _____ ICT _____

2. _____ CR _____

3. _____ RET _____

4. _____ SCO _____

5. _____ AID _____

6. _____ CST _____

7. _____ RED _____

8. _____ NU _____

9. _____ CEB _____

10. _____ DIA _____

Answers:

 

1. VICTOR/VICTIM/ DICTUM

2. ACRE

3. ARETE*

4. ASCOT

5. MAIDEN

6. ECSTACY

7. EUREKA

8. SNUB/ONUS

9. ICEBOX

10 MEDIAN/INDIAN

 

*ARETE (a narrow ledge) is an obscure word in normal language, but a common one in crosswords. The original puzzle used PRETTY, which would increase the score to 27.

 

How many words can you think of that can follow LEVEL? Eight are listed below.

________ LEVEL

ENERGY

ENTRY

GROUND

NOISE

POVERTY

SEA

SPLIT

TOP

 

 

HIDDEN WORDS III

Hidden in the sentences below are the names of FRUITS. Can you find them?

1. I want to get to Ward's big sale Monday.

2. If ignorance is bliss, he's the happiest person I know.

3. There's a strange boat anchored at Easter Island, Sheriff.

4. The hotel clerk saw the gentleman going toward the drugstore just fifteen minutes ago.

5. After sponging the wound with alcohol, I very carefully began to probe the opening.

6. Richard, lie down and take your nap, please .........it's getting late.

7. In general, male monkeys are very good fathers.

8. The bells in the church in that little town in Mexico rang every morning to wake the countryside.

9. The summer I was fourteen and a half, I grew over an inch!

10. Because of her asthma, her windpipe ached every time she ran too much.

11. My camera is in the box in the bottom drawer of my filing cabinet.

12. You'll have to develop some long-range plans, if you want to impress your employer.

13. Tonight I have to write up a chemistry lab, an anatomy assignment, and an English theme.

14. To keep lumps from forming in your pancake batter, stir it with a wire whisk.

15. The judge issued a temporary restraining order against the School Board.

16. We've got quite a problem on our hands, haven't we?

17. All I meant was that your son needed a little more self-control in the classroom

18. I watched one member of the group run electrical wires from the batteries to the lamp.

Answers:

1. saLE MONday

2. iF IGnorance

3. anchoreD AT Easter

4. gentleMAN GOing

5. alcohOL, I VEry

6. nAP, PLEase

7. maLE MONkeys

8. mexicO RANG Every

9. halF, I Grew

10. windpiPE ACHed

11. cameRA IS IN the

12. soME LONg

13. laB, AN ANAtomy

14. keeP LUMps

15. issueD A TEmporary

16. probLEM ON our

17. alL I MEant

18. grouP RUN Electrical

 

The twelve words below can be grouped into two groups of six according to a certain pattern. Can you determine the pattern and the two groups?

INK

EAR

YOU

ERE

SOU

READ

UNDER

STEAL

FOUR

RASH

GROW

ROUGH

 

Answer:

 

Six of the words can be preceded by TH, and six can be followed by TH to make new words:

 

THINK---------------------EARTH

THERE                           YOUTH

THREAD                        SOUTH

THUNDER                     STEALTH

THRASH                        FOURTH

THROUGH                    GROWTH

 

What do the three names below have in common?

PAUL

GEORGE

LOUIS

 

Answers:

 

Preceded by SAINT, they are the names of three U.S. cities:

 

St. Paul, Minnestota

St. George, Utah

St. Louis, Missouri 

MISSINGS LINK CCLXXXI

Each pair or trio of words below shares a Missing Link - that is, its members have something in common, obvious or not. For examples, RIVERS, NOSES, & VIOLINS can all have BRIDGES.

1. Angel..........Villain

2. Hot..........High..........Live

3. Lion..........Crab..........Fish

4. Art..........Joint..........Board

5. Off..........Best..........Ground

6. Rush..........Zero..........Golden

7. First..........Soul..........Running

8. Heart..........Chord..........Down

9. Peace..........Faith..........Change

10. Game..........Square..........Storm 

Answers:

 

1. Arch

2. Kinds of wires

3. Zodiac animals

4. Clip

5. Level

6. Hour

7. Mate

8. Broken

9. Things you can keep

10. Perfect

TRADE-OFF IV

The answers to the two clues in each line below are six-letter words that differ by only one letter. That letter is given in the clues. For example, given

EMPTY INSIDE - CONSECRATE

_ O _ _ _ _  -  _ A _ _ _ _ , the answer words would be

HOLLOW  -  HALLOW

1. CHAP - TAIL

    F _ _ _ _ _     F _ _ _ _ _

2. SUPPLE - BOARDS

    _ I _ _ _ _     _ U _ _ _ _

3. CLOSET ITEM - YEARN

    _ _ _ G _ _     _ _ _ K _ _ 

 

4. JEANS FEATURE - PENDANT

    P _  _ _ _ _     L _ _ _ _ _ 

5. WIGGLE - WATER GUN OUTPUT

    _ _ _ _ _ M      _ _ _ _ _ T

6. UNREFINED - ROUTE

    _ _ A _ _ _      _ _ U _ _ _

7. LOFT - RED STONE

    _ _ _ R _ _      _ _ _ N _ _

Answers:

 

1. FELLOW - FOLLOW

2. LIMBER - LUMBER

3. HANGER - HANKER

4. POCKET - LOCKET

5. SQUIRM - SQUIRT

6. COARSE - COURSE

7. GARRET - GARNET

 

COMPLETE-A-WORD VI

Dell PennyPress Variety Puzzles

March, 2019

 

Fill in the dashes with 4-letter answers to the clues to complete 7-letter words.

 

1. Challenging         C _ _ _ A _ E

2. Heavy weight      _ E _ T _ R _ 

3. Ponder                 I _ P _ L _ _

4. Brusque               _ _ LP _ I _

5. Meander              P _ _ GR _ _

6. Tow                     _ E _ _ N _ E

7. Loiter                  SW _ N _ _ _

8. Stuff full             _ A _ _ _ EL

Answers:

 

1. Challenging - HARD - CHARADE

2. Heavy weight - LOAD - LEOTARD

3. Ponder - MUSE - IMPULSE

4. Brusque - CURT - CULPRIT

5. Meander - ROAM - PROGRAM

6. Tow - DRAG - DERANGE

7. Loiter - IDLE - SWINDLE

8. Stuff full - CRAM - CARAMEL

QUOTES CLXV

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

Steven Wright

 

It's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.

Alice, in Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll 

If you are in a bad mood, go for a walk. If you are still in a bad mood, go for another walk.

Hippocrates

 

Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Being alive is the special occasion.

Author Unknown

 

Sadly, comedians are the canaries in the coal mine for society when it comes to testing freedom. 

Jessica Milner Davis

 

When a husband brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason.

Molly McGee 

 

The formula for a happy marriage? It's the same as the one for living in California: When you find a fault, don't dwell on it.

Jay Trachman

 

SYNONYM/ANAGRAM C

The two words in each clue can be anagrammed into one - beginning with the given letter. A hint to the meaning of the anagram is given below the clues.

1. MAY + FIN = I

2. PAN + LICE = P

3. SIN + OPEN = P

4. RIVET + LEARN = I

5. TRIAL + ACUTE = A

6. LOWER + ACTOR = W 

7. BEARD + ELITE = D

8. ANTIC + DECAL = A

9. ANGST + HORDE = H

10. RUBLE + NAVEL = W 

HINTS:

1. Disgrace

2. Animal

3. Retirement

4. Meaningless

5. Speak clearly

6. Painting medium

7. On purpose

8. Not planned on

9. Stubborn

10. Subject to harm 

 

Answers:

 

1. INFAMY

2. PELICAN

3. PENSION

4. IRRELEVANT

5. ARTICULATE

6. WATERCOLOR

7. DELIBERATE

8. ACCIDENTAL

9. HEADSTRONG

10. VULNERABLE 

POLITICS II

The Word's The Thing

Specialized Vocabulary

Dr. Louis D. Appel

The answers to the clues below will be related to politics.

 

1. Hatred or fear of strangers or foreigners 

2. Of a legislature consisting of two houses

3. The domination of one state over another

4. Diplomatic courtesy, practice, and procedure

5. Showing political favor to family and friends

6. Alter voting district boundaries to gain political advantage

7. One who betrays his country and collaborates with its conqueror

8. The right of the state to appropriate private property for public use 

9. Legislation designed specifically to please a legislator's constituents

10. A person who is near completing his term of office after having failed to be re-elected 

Answers:

 

1. Xenophobia

2. Bicameral

3. Hegemony

4. Protocol

5. Nepotism

6. Gerrymandering

7. Quisling

8. Eminent domain

9. Pork barrel

10. Lame duck

 

JOKES

Every ten years, the monks in the monastery are allowed to break their vow of silence to speak two words. Ten years go by and it's one monk's first chance. He thinks for a moment before saying, "Food cold." Ten years later, he says, "Bed hard." It's the big day, a decade later: He gives the head monk a long stare and says, " I quit."

"I'm not surprised," the head monk says. "You've been complaining ever since you got here."

************************

 

A lawyer was playing golf when he got hit by a ball. When the player came over looking for the ball, the lawyer said, "I'm a lawyer, and this will cost you $5,000."

"I'm sorry," said the golfer. "But I did say 'fore.' " 

"I'll take it," said the lawyer

*************************

Wandering around a fairgrounds, a man enters a fortune-teller's tent for a laugh. "I see you're the father of  two," says the seer, gazing into her crystal ball. 

"Ha! That's what you think," says the man scornfully. "I'm the father of three."

"Ha! says the fortune teller. "That's what you think."

**************************

Doctor: Have you taken my advice and slept with the window open?

Patient: Yes.

Doctor: Has your asthma disappeared?

Patient: No, but my watch and laptop have.

*****************************

 

A grandmother is watching her grandchild playing on the beach when a rogue wave washes him out to sea. "Please, God," she  pleads, "Save my only grandson. I beg of you, bring him back to me." With that, another huge wave washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new. The grandmother looks up to heaven and says, "He had a hat."

*******************************

 

 

 

RHYMING WORDS XV

The answer words to the clues in each set below will rhyme.

 

1. Animal den

    Special aptitude for doing something well

    Pirate

    Suave, urbane

2. Insensitive, crude  

    Pester

    Accumulate

    Go beyond the expected

3. Pacify, reduce - fear

    Bear or pay all or part of expenses

    Analyze the quality of metal or ore

    Dental concern

4. Claim that someone has committed a crime

    Solemn procession, as at a funeral

    

5. Follow as a consequence

    Fill with emotion or ideals

    Chase after

    First perfomance

6. Vie

    Full to the uttermost

    Separate, distinct

    One who has (or affects to have) a special appreciation for art and beauty

7. Unhealthy, yellowish skin color

    Inexperienced, immature

    Consecrate

    Of farmland left unplanted to renew soil

8. Make thin, reduce in strength

    Cause to appear less serious

Answers:

 

1. Lair

    Flair

    Corsair

    Debonaire

 

2. Crass

    Harass

    Amass

    Surpass

 

3. Allay

    Defray

    Assay

    Decay

 

4. Allege

    Cortege

 

5. Ensue

    Imbue

    Pursue

    Debut

 

6. Compete

    Replete

    Discrete

    Esthete

 

7. Sallow

    Callow

    Hallow

    Fallow

 

8. Attenuate

    Extenuate

    

What do the following words have in common that has nothing to do with their meanings?

1. Window

2. Smile

3. Book

4. Joke

 

Answers:

 

They can all be "cracked". 

 

ADD A LETTER - GET A NEW WORD CLXXXII

Add the designated letter to each word and re-arrange the letters to get a new word.  

1. AIDE + M

2. TACT + I

3. ORCA + N

4. PITA + O

5. VEER + U

5. WARN + P

6.  ACORN + Y

7. ACUTE + P

8. NERDY + T

9. SMILES + I

10. CANARY + H

HINTS:

1. Print or social

2. Implied without being stated

3. Oak fruit

4. Back yard site

5. Edible fish

6. Childhood art staple

7. Vessel

8. Opposite of NERDY

9. ICBM or Scud

10. Chaos

Answers:

 

1. MEDIA

2. TACIT

3. ACORN

4. PATIO

5. PRAWN

6. CRAYON

7. TEACUP

8. TRENDY

9. MISSILE

10. ANARCHY

SPELLING TEST FROM HELL #65

1. Basil

2. Baboon

3. Puree

4. Khaki

5. Siphon

6. Halcyon

7. Sirocco

8. Chimera

9. Protocol

10. Rhythmic

11. Proselyte

12. Proselytize

13. Labyrinth

14. Repetition

15. Hypotenuse

16. Coquette

17. Hypocrisy

18. Diminutive

19. Millennial

20. Peccadillo 

ELEVEN RIDDLES

1. What can you hold but not break?

2. What can you break but not hold?

3. How do you know Elmer Fudd likes candy?

4. What two things have a neck but no head?

5. What does a dog do that a man steps into?

6. What's the most dangerous activity for anti-maskers?

7. Why do seismologists make difficult husbands or wives? 

8. People buy me to eat, but they never eat me. What am I?

9. What question do you answer "no" when you mean "yes"?

10. What question do you answer "yes" when you mean "no"?

11. A king and a queen are together in a palace room, but there are no people in the palace. How can this be? 

Answers:

 

1. Your breath

2. A promise

3. He always has Twix up his sleeve.

4. A bottle and a guitar

5. Pants (and one other)

6. SCUBA diving

7. They're always looking for faults.

8. A plate or silverware

9. "Do you mind?"   "Am I boring you?"

10. "Would you like to see some pictures of my grandchildren?"

11. The king and queen are beds.

 

AL(L) IN

Each word below contains the letters AL (and some others) and is followed by its definition. Can you fill in the blanks to complete the words? (#2 doesn't show any other letters.)

1. D _ _ _AL (at the back)

2. _AL _ _ _  (speak spitefully about someone)

3. _ _ V _ _ AL (restoration) 

4. _ AL _ _ _ S (insensitive) 

5. _ AL _ _ NT _ _ _ (dissatisfied person)

6. _ UAL _ _ (uneasy feelings)

7. _ AL _ _ W (pale, yellow-brown, as skin_

8. P _ AL _ _ X (group of infantry) 

 

Answers:

 

1. DORSAL

2. MALIGN

3. REVIVAL

4. CALLOUS

5. MALCONTENT

6. QUALMS

7. SALLOW

8. PHALANX 

What unusual quality is shared by the following words?

ALMOST

BEGINS

BIOPSY

CHIMPS

 

Answer:

 

The letters are in alphabetical order.   

  

    

ANAGRAMS XV

From PALINDROMES AND ANAGRAMS

Howard W. Bergerson 

Can you anagram the words and phrases below into new ones that are related to the originals?

1. EARTH'S IDEAL SPOT

2. RADIUM CAME

3. MAINE

4. INTEREST

5. MEASURED

6. CURTAILMENT 

7. HAMMER A BIT

8. INCOME TAXES

9. DISCERNMENT

10. DEALING ON THE SQUARE    

 

Answers:

 

1. THE LOST PARADISE

2. MADAME CURIE

3. N. E. AM I

4. RESENT IT

5. MADE SURE

6. CUT TERMINAL

7. THE MARIMBA

8. EXACT MONIES

9. MIND'S CENTER

10. THINGS ARE DONE EQUAL                                                                   

MALAPROPISMS XXI

The Word's The Thing

Dr. Louis D. Appel

 

Identify the malapropism in each sentence below and supply the correct word.

 

1. The doctor said I should move to a more dubious climate.

 

2. There's a huge coliseum near the entrance to the cemetery. 

 

3. Baby and Child Care is a valuable millennium of useful information.

 

4. You need to do some research on this and be more remorseful. 

5. I enjoyed assisting the priest as a parasite when I was a boy.

6. You have what it takes, so work up to your prudential.

7. That so-called doctor is nothing but a harlequin, if you ask me.

8. He's such a yes-man and toady - a regular supplicant.

 

9. The FBI kept the suspect under constant conveyance.

 

10. Relaxed and poised, she performed with complete applause.

 

Answers:

 

1. dubious - salubrious

2. coliseum - mausoleum

3. millennium - compendium

4. remorseful - resourceful

5. parasite - acolyte

6. prudential - potential

7. harlequin - charlatan

8. supplicant - sycophant

9. conveyance - surveillance

10. applause - aplomb 

 

 

 

 

LA Times Crossword

October 24, 2021

Catherine Cetta

 

The first three phrases below each contain the same word, with the letters in consecutive order, but scrambled. The fourth clue is a hint. Can you find the scrambled word?

 

1. GOOSE NECK LAMP

2. GREEN SCREEN

3. FENCE SITTER

4. Mental refresher

 

HINT:

4. It may involve a change.

 

Answer:

 

The scrambled word is SCENE:

 

1. gooSE NECk lamp 

2. grEEN SCreen

3. fENCE Sitter

4. Change of SCENE 

RESUME REGRETS II

A resume should accentuate the positive, but sometimes it's the opposite. The following are actual comments on real resumes:

1. Why are you interested in this position? To keep my parole officer from putting me back in jail

2. Candidate included a letter of recommendation from his mother

3. Hobbies: Sitting on the levee at night watching alligators

4. Planned a new corporate facility at $3 million over budget

5. Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details

6. I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.

7. You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.

8. Skills: I can type without looking at thekeyboard.

9. Experience: Have not yet been abducted by aliens

10. Qualifications: I have guts, drive, ambition, and heart - which is probably more than a lot of the drones that you have working for you.

OONA O'NEILL AND CHARLIE CHAPLIN

Oona O'Neill (1925-1991) had a life of legendary proportions. She was the daughter of Nobel Prize - winning American playwright Eugene O'Neill and English-born writer Agnes Boulton. She was embedded into East Coast elite society and partied with the Vanderbilts. She had a love affair with J.D. Salinger, then an unknown writer. In Hollywood, O'Neill was introduced to Charlie Chaplin who considered her for a film role. The film was never made, but O'Neill and Chaplin began a romantic relationship and married in June, 1943 - a month after she turned 18. The 36-year age gap between them caused a scandal and severed O'Neill's relationship with her father, who was only six months older than Chaplin. She was Chaplin's fourth wife. Following the marriage, O'Neill gave up her career plans. She and Chaplin were inseparable and remained married until his death (1977). They had eight children together. The oldest of those children, Geraldine Chaplin, an American actress, named her own daughter after Oona in 1986. 

 BE A BETTER ANAGRAMMER LXXV

Each word on the left is one letter off from another word - whose initial letter is given at the right. Can you determine the other word?

1. INFECT - E

2. VISUAL - L

3. HARDEN - E

4. RATION - O

5. EACH - A

6. TEMPT - E

7. VORTEX - E

8. SCOUR - O

9. MUSEUM - S

10. RHINO - I

HINTS:

1. Lure

2. Fancy

3. Opposite of harden

4. Religious term

5. Skin

6. Vacant

7. Obtain by force or threat

8. Happen

9. Season

10. Unexpected 

Answers:

 

1. ENTICE

2. LAVISH

3. ENDEAR

4. ORDAIN

5. ACNE

6. EMPTY

7. EXTORT

8. OCCUR

9. SUMMER

10. IRONY

AWESOME FACTS ABOUT EVERYTHING XXXVII

1. The national animal of Canada is the beaver.

2. There are an estimated 10 to the 82nd power atoms in the universe. That's 1 followed by 82 zeroes.

3. According to the U.N. World Tourism Travel Organization, France gets more visitors than any other country in the world.

4. "Stayin' Alive" by the Bee Gees has the perfect beat for doing CPR. With its apt name, it tops the playlist developed by NY-Presbyterian Hospital of songs that have a tempo between 100 -120 beats per minute - the perfect pace for life-saving chest compressions.

5. Emily Dickinson wrote more than 1,700 poems, of which only 10 were published in her lifetime.

6. Glaciers and ice sheets hold about 69% of the world's fresh water.

7. Oceans hold 96% of the total amount of the world's water.

8. Archaeological evidence suggests that dentistry is the world's oldest profession.

9. Due to long-term U.S.trade emargoes, you can't (legally) buy Coca-Cola in Cuba or China.

10. According to National Geographic, the current population of the world is about 7.5 billion. That huge number is more manageable if you consider that all of us, standing shoulder to shoulder, could fit into the 500 square miles of the city of Los Angeles.

The answers to the clues below will have something in common:

1. Easy!

2. A really disagreeable, unreasonable person

3. What you might call your car if it won't start

3. What you want if you want to be part of what' going on 

4. What you would like to give to somebody who as make you angry

Answers:

 

1. Piece of cake

2. Piece of work

3. Piece of junk

4. Piece of the action

5. Piece of your mind

How many three-letter words can you think of that will become common five-letter words with the addition of TH? Example: TOO + TH = TOOTH. Nine more are listed below?

Answers:

1. _ _ _ TH

    BOOTH

    EARTH

    FORTH

    NORTH

    SOUTH

    SIXTH

    TEETH

    TENTH

    YOUTH

 

DROP A LETTER - GET A NEW WORD LI

Drop a letter from each word or name below and re-arrange the remaining letters to form ten new words. The first seven answers are related, as well as the last three - though the relationships are different. Once you discover the relationships, it becomes much easier. A few hints are given below the clues. 

1. PASTA

2. COUPE

3. TALON

4. ABACUS

5. ACORNS

6. CAFTAN

7. ISRAEL

8. GLISTEN

9. BOULDER

10. REPTILE

 

HINTS:

1-7: The answers are not exactly words.

8-10: Sports

Letters to be dropped

1. T

2. U

8. T

Answers:

 

1. ASAP

2. OPEC 

3. NATO

4. SCUBA

5. SONAR

6. NAFTA

7. LASER - - - - - Acronyms

8. SINGLE

9. DOUBLE

10. TRIPLE - - - - - Baseball terms

 

Fill in the blanks with three homophones.

In their early years in school, Orville and Wilbur had to learn how to 

_ _ _ _ _   _ _ _ _ _ _   _ _ _ _ _ .

Answer:

WRITE WRIGHT RIGHT

NY Times Crossword

October 21, 2021 

Michael Lieberman

The clues below can be answered with expressions that have something in common.

1. Of a person who honestly asks,"What's COVID 19?"

2. Give a worker cash to avoid paying taxes

3. Answer questions of an attorney in court

4. Not up to par - physically

5. What a person who really annoys you does to you

6. Commiting a serious offense while operation your car

7. Stay unnoticed, go about your business without attracting attention

8. Relent against your better judgement due to heavy outside influence

Answers:

 

1. Living under a rock

2. Pay under the table

3. Testify under oath

4. Feeling under the weather

5. Gets under your skin

6. Driving under the influence

7. Fly/stay under the radar

8. Crack under pressure

DOUBLE DUTY CXXXI

Fill in the blanks with words which will complete the word or phrase beginning on the left and begin the word or phrase ending on the right. The number of blanks indicates the number of missing letters.

1. TO _ _ _ LIGHT

2. HEAL _ _ _ ME

3. NOT _ _ _ BERG

4. SON _ _ _ WORK

5. TONE _ _ _ _ EAR

6. MAD _ _ _ OUNCE

7. PAGE _ _ _ ELOPE

8. HEART _ _ _ _ _ EVEN

9. MONEY _ _ _ _ _ BOSS

10. BLOOD _ _ _ _ STRING 

HINTS:

First of the missing lettrers:

1. D

2. T

3. I

4. N

5. D

6. D

7. A

8. B

9. T

10. D

 

Answers:

 

1. toDAYlight

2. healTHYme

3. notICEberg

4. sonNETwork

5. tone DEAR ear

6. madDENounce

7. pageANTelope

8. heartBREAK even

9. money TRAIL boss

10. blood DRAWstring

MIND FLEXERS LXXVIII

Answer each clue by matching it with one of the choices below. The relationships are disguised by double meanings and/or altered spacing within words. The choices are in random order.

1. Try

2. Kitty food

3. Long lunch

4. Court order

5. Bee product

6. Grace period

7. Lay of the land

8. Story connector

9. Point of no return

10. Well-known flower

11. Come full circle, per Elvis and USPS

12. Flu-like

13. Star trek

14. Psychoanalysis

15. A man for all seasons

 

CHOICES:

a. Red carpet

b. National Anthem

c. Ashy

d. Stairway

e. Binge watcher

f. Nile

g. Prosecute

h. Field of dreams

i. Arise

j. Poker chip

k. Return to sender

l. Ace

m . Hero

n. Quilt

o. Amen

 

Answers:

 

1. g - Prosecute (as in court)

2. j - Poker chip

3. m - Hero (sandwich)

4. i - Arise (as the judge enters)

5. n - Quilt

6. o - Amen 

7. b - National Anthem (lay = song)

8. d - Stairway

9. l - Ace (tennis)

10. f - Nile

11. k - Return to S/sender 

12. c - Ashy (flue)

13. a - Red carpet (movie stars)

14. h - Field of dreams

15. e - Binge watcher 

Credits:

2: Robyn Weintraub

12-15: Brandon Koppy 

STUMPERS CDXIV

Think of a nine-letter word as 123456789. With 234 you can 1234. If you lose 123456789, you die. What's the word?

Answer:

HEARTBEAT 

 

WORD + WORD = NEW WORD XXIII

Each clue below contains the definitions of two words which can be combined to form a third, unrelated word, without any re-arrangement of letters.

1. Observe + Definite article

2. Seed case + Animal home 

3. Portable bed + The E in HOMES

4. Make a mistake + What (&) stands for

5. Leather strap used to guide a horse + Coercion

6. Verbal sharpness + Feminine objective pronoun

7. Decorative painting and enameling on tinplate + Fixed price for a service

Answers:

 

1. SEE + THE = SEETHE

2. BUR + DEN = BURDEN

3. COT + ERIE = COTERIE

4. ERR + AND  = ERRAND

5. REIN + FORCE = RE-INFORCE

6. WIT + HER = WITHER

7. TOLE + RATE = TOLERATE

What do the following words have in common?

1. PEELS

2. STRAW

3. DENIM 

4. REVEL

5. RECAP

6. KNITS

 

Answer:

 

Each word can be spelled backward to give a valid word:

 

1. PEELS - SLEEP

2. STRAW - WARTS

3. DENIM - MINED

4. REVEL - LEVER

5. RECAP - PACER

6. KNITS - STINK

 

Credit:
Reader's Digest

June, 2009

Emily Cox and Henry Rathvon 

 

MISSING LETTERS XI

The same letter can be added or inserted twice in each of the letter strings below to make complete words. The missing letter will be different for each set. #4 is a proper  name.

1. ERO

2. EUNE

    OOBA

    UITSU

    IMAM

 

3. IC

    HAI

    AYA

 

4. YKN

 

Answers:

 

1. Missing letter X:

    XEROX

 

2. Missing letter J:

    JEJUNE

    JOJOBA

    JUJITSU

    JIMJAM

 

3. Missing letter K: 

    KICK

    KHAKI

    KAYAK 

 

4. Missing letter O:

    YOKO ONO 

KISS (not the band)

The acronym KISS popularly stands for Keep It Simple, Stupid - implying that the person being spoken to is stupid (hopefully in a fun way). But the original acronym had no comma. It was coined by Kelly Johnson, lead engineer at the Lockheed Skunk Works. The origins of the acronym are in designing something so simple-stupid that it could be fixed in the field, with minimal tools, under combat conditions. The KISS principle states that most systems work best if they are kept simple rather than made complicated; therefore simplicity should be a key goal in design, and that unnecessary complexity should be avoided.

Two jobs - still in existence, but very rare - each have seven letters. They differ only by their second letters, which are shown below. Can you determine the two jobs?

_ A _ _ _ _ _
_ U _ _ _ _ _

HINT:

The first letter is F.

Answers:

 

FARRIER (horse shoer)

FURRIER

ANALOGIES XI

Complete each analogy below. Some may be completed in unexpected ways.

1. HERD : CATTLE :: CRASH : ________

2. __________ : HAM :: ICING : CAKE

3. MONTH : YEAR :: LEO : __________

4. COWS : CALVES :: DOES :: __________

5. RULER : LINE :: COMPASS : __________

6. FENCE : PICKET :: SAW : __________

7. __________ DESERT :: ISLAND : OCEAN

8. LAMP : SUNSHINE :: __________ : BREEZE

9. __________ : CEILING :: MOUTH : ROOF

10. HUB : WHEEL :: __________ : HURRICANE

11. LETTER : ALPHABET :: __________ : SCALE

12. FLEMISH : HIMSELF :: __________ : SHINGLE

13. ADVERSE : JINGLE :: RAMPART : __________

14. CAR : TIRE :: SKATE : __________

15. BEE : SEE :: OWE : __________

16. NICKEL : __________ :  FIN : SAWBUCK

 17. AUTHOR : COPYWRIGHT :: INVENTOR : __________

18. GLUTTONY : __________ :: CULPABILITY : INNOCENCE

Answers:

1. RHINOS

2. GLAZE

3. ZODIAC

4. FAWNS

5. CIRCLE

6. TOOTH

7. OASIS

8. FAN

9. ROOM

10 EYE

11. NOTE

12. ENGLISH (anagrams)

13. HORN (charades)

14. BLADE

15. PEA (homophones of successive letters of the alphabet)

16. DIME

17. PATENT

18. FASTING

Credits: 

GAMES Magazine

July, 1988

Betty Brace and Penny Slingerland

HIDDEN WORDS II

Hidden in the sentences below are the names of INSECTS. Can you find them?

1. My father said I can't go today, but I can tomorrow.

2. I'd like a ring with any gem other than emerald.

3. Suzy got a package of jello custard out of the pantry.

4. I've never known a cow as productive as our Old Bessie!

5. Today the United States plans to sign a treaty with Mexico.

6. Shuffle a deck and we'll play a few hands of rummy before dinner.

7. Human tissue can be transplanted from one person to another.

8. Mother said I looked to pale and wan to go to school.

9. My Uncle Lou sells rare books and first editions.

10. She found a bar of of sweet-smelling lavender soap hidden in the drawer.

11. You can spray each berry bush or netting can be draped around them to keep off bugs.

12. After the gingerbread cakes were cooled and crisp, I'd erect lovely, quaint gingerbread houses with white icing roofs. 

Answers:

1. buT I Can

2. geM OTHer

3. jelLO CUSTard

4. coW AS Productive

5. siGN A Treaty

6. shufFLE A deck

7. huMAN TISsue

8. wAN To go

9. uncle LOU SElls

10. soAP HIDden

11. busH OR NETting

12. criSP, I'D ERect

QUOTES CLXIV

Nothing behind me, everything ahead of me, as is ever so on the road.

Jack Kerouac

 

If all would play first violin, we would not have an orchestra.

Robert Schumann

 

No response is a response. And it's a powerful one.

Author Unknown

 

Growing up is losing some illusions, in order to acquire others.

Virginia Woolf

 

Sometimes leadership is planting trees under whose shade you'll never sit.

Jennifer M. Granholm - Governor of Michigan (2003-2011)

                                       U.S. Secretary of Energy (2021 -

 

The main dangers in this life are the people who want to change everything .......... or nothing. 

Lady Astor

 

CURTAILMENT III

The Enigma

NPL Magazine 

July, 2021

AXIOM

 

As the cuewords STING and STINGY suggest, the two answer words to this flat differ in that the final letter of the second answer is dropped (curtailed) to give the first answer. 

 

Oedipus was known for solving riddles in 

   STING.

In fact, he was STINGY, so they made

   him king.

 

HINTS: 

STING is a place.

STINGY is parsed as two words.

 

Answer:

 

Oedipus was known for solving riddles in

   THEBES.

In fact, he was THE BEST, so they made 

   him king. 

 

 

1. What do the following words have in common?

DEFY 

WORST

HIJACK

CRAB CAKE 

2.What do the following words have in common?

STONE

SHIVER

SEATS

FLIES

THEIRS

Answers:

 

1. Each word contains three consecutive letters of the alphabet:

    DEFy, woRST, HIJack, crAB Cake

 

2. Dropping both the first and last letter of each word leaves a valid word:

    _TONE_

    _HIVE_

    _EAT_

    _LIE_

    _ HEIR_

UNPLAINLY STATED III

GAMES/World of Puzzles

September, 2021

Charli N. Chapman

 

The following three-letter words can be found between the first and last letters of U.S. state capital cities. For example, LEI is found in RALEIGH, NC.

 

1. TON

2. OPE

3. RAM

4. RAN

5. SIN

6. NAP

 

Answers:

 

1. BATON ROUGE, LA

2. TOPEKA

3. SACRAMENTO

4. FRANKFORT

5. LANSING

6. ANNAPOLIS or INDIANAPOLIS 

 

 

ODD ONE OUT XXV

Which is the odd one out?

EGG

CAT

TABLE

BET

FOUNDATION

 

Answer:

 

CAT is the odd one out. You can lay an egg, a table (set), a bet, and a foundation.