THREE JOKES

1)
He: Volvo, Saab, Ikea, Stockholm
She: Oh, darling, you say the Swedish things.

2)
A logician's wife just had a baby.
Friend: So, is it a boy or a girl?
Logician: Yes

3)
Woman talking to her friend: My husband and I fight constantly. I'm so upset, I've lost twenty pounds.
Friend: Why don't you just leave him?
Woman: I need to lose another fifteen pounds.