QUAZY QUOTES
Credit: GAMES Magazine - Nov. 2001
Bruce London

Each scenario below will suggest a "Quazy Quote" - one that rhymes with a familiar, oft-quoted saying. For example:

A scientist discovered that certain amphibians are nomadic, without exception.

This would lead to Quazy Quote (QQ):
All toads need to roam.
Based on Familiar Quote (FQ):
All roads lead to Rome.

1. A reporter saw Marcel Marceau in a rink. Marcel performed jumps for Frosty, the only spectator. The headline read:

QQ:  M_ _ _   S_ _ _ _ _   F_ _   S_ _ _ _ _ _.
FQ:  T_ _ _    W_ _ _ _     F_ _   N_      M_ _.

2. Two Alaskan cities disputed where a dogsled race should begin. Although Anchorage won, this defiant slogan lives on:

QQ:  N_ _ _   I_   W_ _ _ _   T_ _   S _ _ _ _   I_.
FQ:   H_ _ _   I_   W_ _ _ _   T_ _   H_ _ _ _   I_.

3. GI Joe, a coward, decided to throw trash on the street when no one was looking. Thus it was said that:

QQ:  D_ _ _   T_ _ _   L_ _ _ _ _ _   I_   N_ _   B_ _ _.
FQ:  A_ _       T_ _ _   G_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _   I_   N_ _   G_ _ _.

4. When asked if he blamed his first-year quarterback, who kept losing the ball, for losing the game, the coach replied philosophically:

QQ:  T_ _ _ _   T_ _   W_ _   T_ _   R_ _ _ _ _   F_ _ _ _ _ _.
FF:   T_ _ _ _   T_ _  W_ _   T_ _  C_ _ _ _ _   C_ _ _ _ _ _ _.

5. A grave robber got bored with corpses and raided a beehive one night. Carrying the comb home, he was shot with a tranquilizer gun, proving that:

QQ:  A  G_ _ _ _   A_ _   H_ _   H_ _ _ _   A_ _   S_ _ _
         D_ _ _ _ _.
FQ:  A   F_ _ _      A_ _   H _ _  M_ _ _ _   A _ _  S_ _ _
         P_ _ _ _ _.

Answers:

1)
QQ: Mime Skates For Snowman.
FQ:  Time Waits For No Man.

2)
QQ: Nome Is Where The Start Is.
FQ:  Home Is Where The Heart Is.

3)
QQ: Doll That Litters Is Not Bold
FQ:  All That Glitters Is Not Gold

4)
QQ: That's The Way The Rookie Fumbles.
FQ:  That's The Way The Cookie Crumbles.

5)
QQ: A Ghoul And His Honey Are Soon Darted.
FQ:  A Fool And His Money Are Soon Parted.