CALL MY LAWYER
From the Massachusetts Bar Assn. Lawyers' Journal
Printed in ANN LANDERS - syndicated newspaper column

The following are questions actually asked by lawyers of witnesses during a trial:

1. Were you present when your picture was taken?
2. How far apart were the vehicles when they collided?
3. You were there until the time you left, is that true?

4.
Q. Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice that I sent to your attorney?
A. No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

5.
Q. Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A. All of them.

6.
Q. Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A. I went to Europe, sir.
Q. And you took your new wife?

7.
Q. So the date of conception was August 8th?
A. Yes.
Q. And what were you doing at that time?

8.
Q. You were not shot in the fracas?
A. No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.

9. (Not documented)
Q. Doctor, can a man live without brain?
A. I don't know. You seem to be doing reasonably well.