Entries in the register of the Loyalsock backpacking trail in Pennsylvania:

Joanne Osgood: I have blisters on my feet, my shoulders are sore, my back hurts, we got lost, we saw a bear, it rained all night and I'm soaking wet.

Peter Osgood: Great trip - except for Joanne.

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     Vacationing in Paris, I went to the movies and saw a western. Since the original English-language soundtrack had been retained, the film had French subtitles. In one scene a dusty stranger made for the saloon's bar, kicking a chair out of his way. The cowboy fixed the bartender with a steely gaze, spat and said, "Howdy."
     The French subtitle was "Enchante."