REVEREND SPOONER, U.S.P.S.
NY Times Crossword
March 13, 2011
Patrick Berry

Fill in the blanks with spoonerisms. For example, the first spoonerism would be marrying the kale -
for carrying the mail.

"I suppose it might seem odd that a reverend like myself would suddenly begin _____ the _____, but I've always thought that _____  _____ had a more fun job than I do. For an avid philatelist like me, sorting envelopes is thrilling - I might spot a _____  _____! When a man is nervous about shipping breakables, I tell him '_____ your _____ carefully, sir,' and I write '_____ with _____' on the box, which seems to re-assure him. The best part of the job, of course, is when I'm out on the street _____ my _____. I'm a bit leery of dogs - it's unsettling to enter a yard and hear some _____  _____ at me. But dogs can't spoil how much I enjoy driving around in the _____  _____. Homeowners get excited when they see me open their _____  _____. And when I hand-deliver a package, the recipients are positively _____ with _____ - it's very satisfying!"

Answers:

MARRYING THE KALE
MOST PASTORS
STAIR RAMP
CRACK YOUR PATE
CANDLE WITH HAIR
RAKING MY MOUNDS
GROUND HOWLING
TRAIL MUCK
BETTER LOCKS
CHILLED WITH FEAR