JOKES
From Reader's Digest

A visiting home-economics teacher was trying to encourage a class of third-graders to try new foods. The teacher had a piece of venison, which she cut up into little squares. She placed the pieces on spoons and gave them to each of the children.
"Now, boys and girls, the game we're going to play today is to taste this new food, and to guess the name of the animal from which this meat came," the teacher explained. "I'll give you a hint - it's a name that sometimes your Mommy calls your Daddy when he gets home from work."
There was a long pause. Finally a voice from the back of the room said, "Don't eat it."
(No pun intended on "game.")



Walking down the street, a man passes a house and notices a child trying to reach the doorbell. No matter how much the little guy stretches, he can't make it. The man calls out, "Let me get that for you," and steps onto the porch and rings the doorbell.
"Thanks, mister,"says the kid. "Now let's run."



Once a wise guy was refused entry to a dance club for not wearing a tie. He went to his car, tied jumper cables around his neck, and approached the club again.
"Okay," said the bouncer, "you can come in - but don't start anything."