JOKES

   A newly-married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my grandfather hadn't left me twelve million dollars? 

   "Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you no matter who left you the twelve million."

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"I called the Psychic Friends Network," reports comedian Broderick Rice. "They said. 'How can we help you?' "I said, 'You tell me.' '' 

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A judge in a criminal case asked the defendant why he had made a bolt for the door, as several witnesses had testified, if he wasn't involved in the crime. "Your honor," he replied, "I'm a locksmith."

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   After her election, the first Jewish woman President called her mother to invite her to the inauguration. The mother agreed to come and when the great day arrived she was seated among Supreme Court Justices and Cabinet members.

   Just a short time into the solemn ceremony, she nudged the man to her left. "You see that girl with her hand on the Bible?" the mother said with great excitement, "Her brother's a doctor."