JOKES

Reader's Digest 

October, 2020 

Submitted by Richard Hoffman

While in paratrooper training school, I asked the instructor, "What happens if the parachute doesn't open?" "Son," he said, "this parachute was made by the U.S. government. It's guaranteed. If it doesn't open, just bring it back and we'll give you a new one - no questions asked." 

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Reader's Digest

September, 2020

Submitted by Betty Alexander

A kindergarten teacher was telling her class about different kinds of animals. 

"Whales are the largest," she said, "but they cannot swallow people, because their throats are too small."

"But in the Bible it says that Jonah was swallowed by a whale." said a little girl. 

"You can't always believe what you read," the teacher replied.

"Well, when I go to Heaven," said the little girl, "I'll ask Jonah."

"And what if Jonah didn't go to heaven?"

"Then you can ask him."

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Reader's Digest

October, 2020

Submitted by Cheryl Strickland

 

My dad, a pastor, was attending a national Nazarene convention when a woman pointed to an empty seat next to him and asked, "Is this seat saved"?  Dad replied, "No, but we're praying for it."

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Reader's Digest

Deember/January, 2022

Every year I spell Hanukkah differently, but it's always right.

 

HANUKKAH Explained 

Imagine your cell phone battery was on 10% and it lasted for eight days. Now you understand Chanukah.