HOW ________ IS HE? II

1. STINGY:  He's so stingy he checks under his bed every morning to see if he lost any sleep.

2. LAZY: He's so lazy his exercise bike has cruise control.

3. CHEAP: He's so cheap he complained he got better before his pills ran out.

4. CHEAP: He's so cheap he won't even pay attention.

5. DUMB: He's so dumb he stared at a carton of orange juice for an hour because it said "concentrate."

6. DUMB: He's so dumb he failed a blood test.

7. DUMB: He's so dumb he put airbags on his computer in case it crashed.

8. DUMB: He's so dumb his train of thought never left the depot.

9. OLD: He's so old, when he was a boy the Dead Sea was just getting sick.

10. OLD: He's so old he knew Mr. Clean when he had an Afro.

11. POOR: He's so poor Nigerian princes wire him money.

12. STUBBORN: He's so stubborn that when he was a kid his snow sled was an Inflexible Flyer.

13. PARANOID: He's so paranoid he has a rear-view mirror on his stationary bike.

14. CAUTIOUS: He's so cautious he looks both ways when he crosses a one-way street.

15. TOUGH: Tough enough to sit through a 4th grade recorder concert