Tuesday, October 15, 2024

IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT - 2024

2024 - GRAND PRIZE

It was a dark and stormy night are the first words of an 1830 novel by Edward Bulwer-Lytton that have become a metaphor for bad writing. The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (BLFC) is an annual celebration of joyful, deliberately awful writing in which the "winners" are those who compose the worst possible opening sentence to a novel or other literary genre. For more information on the BLFC, please see the DARK AND STORMY NIGHT post of July 8, 2014.

From thousands of entries, the BLFC's Panel of Undistinguished Judges has chosen the following "Winners" and Dishonorable Mentions: 

2024 - Grand Prize 
She had a body that reached out and slapped my face like a five-pound ham-hock tossed form a speeding truck.
Lawrence Person, Austin, TX 
 
Adventure - Winner
As Nils Nordgrund struggled mightily treading water to stay afloat, while grimly watching from a distance the Norwegian oil tanker he captained slowly sink in the treacherously dark and stormy seas off Murmansk - he gave no thought to whether the Giants had any chance at a pennant win this year. 
Rex Allen, San Rafael, CA

Dishonorable Mention
However unlikely an event, Lucy's flight had made a water landing, and as she clutched her seat cushion, which was useable as a flotation device, she waited patiently for the life boats to pick up the Plutonium-class members, active military personnel, parents traveling with small children, and those passengers with special needs.
Joel Phillps, West Trenton, N.J.

Crime and Detective - Winner
She was poured into the red latex dress like Jello poured into a balloon, almost bursting at the seams, and her zaftig shape was awesome to behold, but I knew from the look on her face and the .45 she held pointing at me, that this was no standard client of my detective agency, but a new collection agency tactic to get me to pay my long over-due phone bill.
Jack Harnly, Sarasota, FL
 
Dishonorable Mention
That sweltering Friday evening she not so much walked but slithered into my shabby strip mall P.I. office, showing off all her curves, and I knew then I was in for a weekend of trouble because Dave's Reptile Emporium next door, from which the ball python had escaped, was closed until Monday.
Douglas Purdy, Roseville, CA
 
Purple Prose - Dishonorable Mention
Vera Windrush, ever the romantic, looked at the sea foam washed up on the shore, and imagined the life of some giant, seafaring marshmallow tragically cut short after being rammed by a Pacific Princess cruise liner. 
Art Ellis, Ottawa, Canada

Romance - Dishonorable Mention
Like looking for a missing needle in a haystack (a scenario Belinda had never quite grasped because of the absurdity of having a needle in a haystack in the first place since no one does needlepoint in a barn), the futility of searching for exemplary qualities in her ex left her exhausted and exasperated.
Ann Franklin, Lubbock, TX

Science Fiction - Winner
With the long-awaited legalization of human cloning and the availability of goodly amounts of the DNA of its founding fathers, America in 2035 found itself entering a new golden age - one in which Nathan Hale at last had more than one life to give for his country, Benjamin Franklin was on hand to get the damn Post Office back on track, and Alexander Hamilton could finally play himself on Broadway eight shows a week.
G. Andrew Lundberg, Los Angeles, CA

Vile Puns - Dishonorable Mention
After thousands of years of ruling the netherworld, the Devil was starting to show his age ....... and though it honestly didn't bother him that his horns were a bit less pointy, his wings a bit more droopy, and his fangs a bit less sharp - if anyone mentioned he was losing his hair, there would be hell toupee.
Mark Meiches, Dallas, TX
 
 

UNUSUAL WORDS CIII

Can you give a simple definition of these less-frequently-used words?

1. LYCHEE
2. WELTER
3. GERUND
4. CALUMET
5. SEMOLINA
6. DRAVIDIAN
7. TUROPHILE
8. SUSURROUS
9. CANTILEVER
10. SUBROGATION 

Answers:
 
1. LYCHEE - An evergreen tree and its fruit (similar to a strawberry)
 
2. WELTER - A confused mass, jumble/ A weight division in boxing
 
3. GERUND - The "ing" form of a verb used as a noun 
 
4. CALUMET - Ceremonial Native American reed/pipe - peace pipe
 
5. SEMOLINA - Grain/meal coarser than flour/Grits
 
6. DRAVIDIAN - The people and languages of southern India and Sri Lanka
 
7. TUROPHILE - Connoisseur and lover of cheese 
 
8. SUSURROUS - Full of whispering sounds
 
9. CANTILEVER - A long projecting beam or girder fixed at only one end, used in bridge construction
 
10. SUBROGATION -  Assumption by a third party of another party's legal right to collect debts or damages - as an insurance company after it pays a claim


CRYPTO CLUES CXXXIX

GAMES/World of Puzzles
September, 2024
Fred Piscop (1-5)
Bob Stigger (6-12)
 
1. Take root around a coastal city (container)
 
2.Weather tracker, any way you look at it
 
3. Sausages conceal a cat
 
4. Man is what divides Congress
 
5. Spout off at Oval Office occupant
 
6. To argue rudely is an insult
 
7. Divine terms a creditor gives (hidden word)
 
8. Ascends Everest, ignoring cold arms and legs (C = cold)
 
9. Pygmalion's Doolittle joins lounge lizards
 
10. Multitudes of headless poltergeists
 
11. Idle gab about something important
 
12. Pack animal running around a shopping center (two words/reversal)

Answers:
 
1. SEATTLE (SE A TTLE)
2. RADAR
3. LINKS (LYNX) 
4. AISLE (ISLE)
5. POTUS (President Of The U.S.)
6. ENRAGE
7. SACRED
8. LIMBS (CLIMBS) 
9. ELIZA
10. HOSTS (GHOSTS) 
11. BIG DEAL
12. LLAMA (A MALL)
 
 
 
 
Universal Crossword
October 15, 2024
Howard Neuthaler 

The three names below have something in common that is hinted at by the last clue. Can you determine what it is?

1. EDITH WHARTON
2. WILLIAM SHATNER
3. GWYNETH PALTROW
4. Juliet's question during the balcony scene

Answer:
 
Juliet's question is, "What's in a name?"
Each of the clue names contains the letters W-H-A-T in correct, but not consecutive order.
 
1. edith WHArTon
2. William sHATner 
3. gWynetH pAlTrow

 What do the following words and phrase have in common?

1. CAPSIZE
2. TIBETAN
3. CARHOPS
4. MINOTAUR
5. MARIACHI
6. POP HITS 

HINT:
Hidden words

Answer:
 
Each word or phrase conceals the name of a Greek letter:
 
1. caPSIze
2. tiBETAn
3. caRHOps
4. minoTAUr
5. mariaCHI
6. poP HIts 
 
Credit:
Karen Steinberg

AGAIN AND AGAIN

How many words can you think of that can both precede and follow AND to make a common expression - as Again and again. Five are listed below.

(Possible) Answers:

1. Over and over
2. Neck and neck
3. Half and half
4. By and by
5. So and so


NPR Weekend Edition Sunday
October 13, 2024
Joe Krozel
Presented by Will Shortz 

Think of a place in the United States - two words, ten letters. The first five letters are a palindrome and the last five letters spell out a body part. What is this place?

Answer:
 
NEW ENGLAND
NEWEN  GLAND