SCHLEMIEL AND SCHLAMAZAL III

It's not fair to call a small child a schlemiel, since a little kid lacks the sophistication to know when to be tactful. But this story from Reader's Digest  hints at becoming one. (submitted by William P. Sloan)

   In desperation, the mother of a four-year-old girl said, "If you keep sucking your thumb, you'll blow up like a balloon.

   The next day the mother and her daughter attended a small social gathering. Among those present was a woman who was obviously pregnant. The little girl spotted her and couldn't contain herself. She walked up to the expectant mother and said, "I know what you've been doing."

 

 

SCHLEMIEL and SCHLAMAZAL II

A schlemiel is someone who unintentionally does something dumb and/or embarrassing. A schlamazal is the unlucky person who gets "schlemieled". For example, if the waiter accidentally spills water all over you, he's a schlemiel - you are a schlamazal.

Schlemiels don't intend to be hurtful, but sometimes this happens. When a schlemiel says something that can be hurtful, the object of his words is not a schlamazal, because what happens to a schlamzal can be funny and laughed at later - like the schlamazal who had water dumped on him. 

An example of a schlemiel with no schlamazal: Someone at a wedding says, "I can't believe she's wearing white." He's a schlemiel. But if the bride heard it, she's not a schlamazal, because her feelings could be hurt, and that's not funny. 

It's also possible to be a schlamazal without there being a schlemiel. For example, if someone locks all the stalls in a public bathroom, he's not a schlemiel - he's a mean-spirited jerk. But if you have to use the locked stall - you're a schlamazal.

We can all be schlemiels. Here's an example:

From Reader's Digest

Submitted by  Shelia Howard

 

   At the outpatient surgery center where I worked, the anesthesiologist often chatted with patients before their operations to help them relax. One day he thought he recognized a woman as someone who worked at the VA hospital where he had trained. When the patient confirmed that his hunch was correct, he said, "So, tell me, is the food there still as bad as it used to be?"

   "Well," she replied, "I'm still cooking it."

 

    

SCHLEMIEL and SCHLAMAZAL I

In spite of noble efforts by Laverne and Shirley, these two words are often confused. Here is a good way to keep them straight:

You go into a restaurant and sit down. The waiter comes to your table and spills ice water all over you. The waiter is a schlemiel. You are a schlamazal.

TEST QUESTIONS --- SCHLEMIEL OR SCHLAMAZAL?

1.You talk too much and give away a surprise party. Are you a schlemiel or a schlamazal?

2. You are driving behind a large truck loaded with lemons. The bouncing of the truck causes lemon juice to squirt out all over the front of your car and covers your windshield. Are you a  schlemiel or a schlamazal?

3. You are at a wedding and the bride overhears you say, "I can't believe she's wearing white." Are you a schlemiel or a schlamazal?

4. You are riding on a Ferris wheel at a carnival. The machinery malfunctions and you are stuck in the chair for two hours. Are you a schlemiel or a schlamazal?

5. You ask a woman when her baby is due, and she's not pregnant. Are you a schlemiel or a schlamazal?

6. You are introduced to a new couple and you mistake the man's wife for his mother. Are you a schlemiel or a schlamazal?

7. You step into a bathroom stall and move the latch to the lock position. The little knob you hold to slide the latch breaks off in your hand, leaving a stub which prevents the latch from sliding back to the open position. You are trapped and have to wriggle out like a snake under the door. Are you a schlemiel or a schlamazal?*

Answers:

1.  Schlemiel
2.  Schlamazal
3.  Schlemiel
4.  Schlamazal
5.  Schlemiel
6.  Schlemiel
7. You are both a schlemiel and a schlamazal. 

*Note from JA: Guess how I came up with example 7?