BOOK TITLES V

From Reader's Digest

OVERLY OPTIMISTIC (BUT REAL) BOOK TITLES

You Can Make a Stradivarius Violin by Joseph V. Reid, 1967

You Can Train Your Cat by Jo and Paul Loeb, 1977 

You Can Stop Worrying by Samuel W. Gutwirth, 1957 

You Can Find Uranium by Joseph Weiss, 1948 

The hashtag #literaryturducken asked Twitter users to combine the titles of three classic books into a single title.

The winner:

ANNE OF GREEN EGGS AND HAMLET

Can you re-name these well-known books so their titles are politically correct?

1. The Old Man and the Sea
2. The Ugly Duckling
3. Robinson Crusoe
4. The Hunchback of Notre Dame
5. The Merchant of Venice
6. Return of the Native
7. Native Son
8. The Taming of the Shrew

(Possible) Answers:

1. The Senior Citizen and the Sea
2. The Body-Shamed Duckling
3. Friday and his White Colonial Oppressor
4. The Physically Challenged Person of Notre Dame
5. The Capitalist Bourgeois of Venice
6. Return of the Indigenous Inhabitant
7. Aboriginal Descendant 
8. The Dedicated Effort to Appease a Committed Feminist

PSEU D' NAMES

Can you supply the last names of these fictional authors?

Who wrote ....................... ?

1. "The Diamond Robbery" - Jules _______
2. "How to Lose Weight" - X.R. ________
3. "Instant Wealth for Dummies" - Robin ________
4. "Continental Breakfast for Dummies" - Roland ________
5. "Astrology for Dummies" - Horace ________
6. "Carpeting for Dummies" - Walter ________

Answers:

1. Jules Argon
2. X.R. Sizemore
3. Robin Banks
4. Roland Cofey
5. Horace Scopes
6. Walter Wall

Credits:
#1-2: Ronald L. Smith
From Reader's Digest
#3-6: Nick Grivas


 

ABRIDGED VERSIONS
NY Times Crossword
October 3, 2004
Randolph Ross

The answers to the clues below are titles of well-known books, but with a single letter deleted. For example, the clue BOOK THAT'S A PAEAN TO A PAINTER could be answered with THE DA VINCI ODE. The authors of the original books are given as hints below the clues.


1. Book about Rosa Parks
2. Book about hang-gliding
3. Book about a mutiny
4. Book of recipes people kvetch about
5. Book about the National Hockey League
6. Book that gives a small glimpse into the future
7. Book about diet and exercise for the upper legs
8. Book about a female that a married gander fooled around with

HINTS:
1. Jane Austen
2. Margaret Mitchell
3. Henry James
4. Irma S. Rombauer
5. John Steinbeck
6. Louisa May Alcott
7. James Hilton
8. Unknown

Answers:

1. Ride and Prejudice
2. One With the Wind
3. The Turn of the Crew 
4. The Oy of Cooking
5. Of Ice and Men
6. Little Omen
7. Goodbye Mr. Hips
8. Other Goose

FAILED BOOK AND MOVIE PREQUELS

1. Joseph Heller prequel
2. William Faulkner prequel
3. Evelyn Waugh prequel
4. James Fenimore Cooper prequel
5. Louisa May Alcott prequel

FAILED MOVIE PREQUELS

6. Classic Gary Cooper western
7. Sidney Poitier comedy/drama about inter-racial marriage
8. Sidney Poitier movie about an African-American family's struggles

Answers:

1. Catch Twenty-One
2. Light in July
3. Brideshead Visited
4. The Penultimate Mohican 
5. Little Girls 
6. High Eleven a.m.
7. Guess Who's Coming to Lunch 
8. A Grape in the Sun 

MISLEADING MENAGERIE

Credit: NY Times Crossword - July 11, 1999

Nancy Salomon

Can you name the book about ...............

1. August on a pig farm

2. The tale of a tiny bellower

3. Bedtime stories read in the woods

4. A female horse that makes a frivolous suggestion

Answers:

1. Hog Days of Summer

2. The Louse That Roared

3. Mother Moose Stories

4. The Mare-Brained Idea

BOOK TITLES IV

From Reader's Digest

Disguise the Limit - A history of costumes

June the Obscure - Wally and The Beaver's reclusive Mom tells all

Mr. Roget's Neighborhood - It's a beautiful (lovely, attractive, gorgeous) day in the neighborhood (community, township, subdivision)

Shortstop in the Rye - Holden Caulfield changes positions

BOOK TITLES III

REJECTED CHILDREN'S BOOK TITLES

The Little Engine That Could, But Chose Not To

Who's That Peeking in my Window?

I Can't Wait Until I'm Old Enough to Hunt With My Dad

Sammy the Snot Who Lives in Your Nose

You're Different - And That's Bad

The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables

You've Got Hepatitis B, Charlie Brown

Fun Four-letter Words to Know and Share

Curious George and the High Voltage Fence

Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
The Three Little Pigs and the Lupine Home Wrecker

MORE HAVE YOU READ....................?

Fractions Made Easy by Lois Carmen DeNominata

How to Apologize by Thayer Thorry

The Big White Bird by Albert Ross

The Visitor by Enoch Zatador

My Life in Baton Rouge by Louise Yanner

Embarrassing Moments by Zipporah S. Down

Olive Oyl's Sister Tells All by Linsey Doyle

My Life As An Insomniac by Eliza Wake

High Stakes Gambling by Iris Kittal

BOOK TITLES II

HAVE YOU READ................?

The Music of J.S. Bach by Aaron G. String

Never Give Up by Percy Veer

Two Yanks in Mexico by Peregrine Gose

The Closing Prayer by Benny Dixon

A Visit to the Dentist by Phil McAvity

Where's My Hat? by Sonia Head

The Drafty Room by Isadora Jarr

All Grown Up by Tyrone Laces

BOOK TITLES I

AUTHOR! AUTHOR!

Can you match the author to his or her book?

1. My Last Penny
2. The Generous Lady
3. The Sinking Ship
4. The Coming Storm
5. I Love the Weekend!
6. The Two of Us
7. A Tiger Confesses
8. My Life of Crime
9. The Importance of Good Posture
10. A Gossip Tells All
11. Neither a Borrower

Sharon Sharalike
Robin Banks
Joanna Friend
Nora Lender Bee
Mandy Lifeboats
Stan Straight
Saul I. Have
Gladys Friday
I. Ada Mann
Wendy Winblows
Iva C. Krit

Answers:

1. My Last Penny by Saul I. Have
2. The Generous Lady by Sharon Sharalike
3. The Sinking Ship by Mandy Lifeboats
4. The Coming Storm by Wendy Winblows
5. I Love the Weekend! by Gladys Friday
6. The Two of Us by Joanna Friend
7. A Tiger Confesses by I. Ada Mann
8. My Life of Crime by Robin Banks
9. The Importance of Good Posture by Stan Straight
10. A Gossip Tells All by Iva C. Krit
11. Neither a Borrower - Nora Lender Bee