TEN RIDDLES

1. What did the husband amoeba say to his wife during their argument?
2. What was a turtle doing on the New Jersey Turnpike?
3. What do you call a man whose career is in ruins?
4. What do you call the identical twin sister of an ice skating champion?
5. What is drawn by all, but seen by none?
6. Which is more important, the sun or the moon?
7. What always becomes a woman?
8. Why did the golfer where two pairs of pants?
9. What can fly without wings, engines, propeller, or fuel?

10. How do you keep a moron in suspense?

Answers:

1. "Honey, I've got news for you. I really am the lowest form of life."
2. About 4 miles per hour
3. An archaeologist
4. An ice queen clone
5. Breath
6. The moon, because it shines at night when you really need the light.
7. A little girl
8. He might get a hole in one.
9. Time

10. Answer will follow at a later date.

TAKING YOUR LEAVE
If a skier leaves by taking a powder, how do these people and things leave?

1. sailor
2. merchant
3. chicken
4. banana
5. criminal
6. cashier
7. mechanic
8. electrician
9. actor
10. exterminator
11. bondsman
12. beekeeper
13. hiker
14. surgeon

Answers:

1. jumps ship
2. closes up shop
3. flies the coop
4. splits
5. goes on the lam
6. checks out
7. repairs
8. lights out
9. bows out
10. bugs out
11. bails
12. buzzes off
13. hits the trail
14. cuts out

1. What do these three words have in common?

GUILT / GUEST / PLAGUE

2. What do these six phrases have in common?

Radio waves
Coming out ahead
Got exasperated
Remain even
Foregone conclusion
Trade law area

3. What do the following words have in common?

CAN

BYE

BOO

TOM

HINTS:
1. Replace the same letter in each word with another letter (the same in each word).
2. Think US States.

Answers:

1. Replacing the G in each word with a Q creates a different word:

QUILT/QUEST/PLAQUE

2. Hidden in each phrase is the name of a state.

Iowa/Utah/Texas/Maine/Oregon/Delaware

3. They are often repeated, one after the other.

SYNONYM MAKER I

Add a single, but different, letter to the front of each word in each set so that the two words become synonyms. Ex. cold..........hide would become Scold..........Chide

1. EARNING..........RAVING
2. ALLY..........CORE
3. AVER..........ALTER
4. ROUND..........OIL
5. ARROW..........LENDER
6. EJECTED..........AD
7. LIMB..........SCENT
8. HARP..........CUTE

Answers:
1. Yearning.....Craving
2. Rally or Tally.....Score
3. Waver.....Falter
4. Ground.....Soil
5. Narrow.....Slender
6. Dejected.....Sad
7. Climb.....Ascent
8. Sharp.....Acute

1. What do the following words have in common?

ADMIRER

CAFE NOIR

TOBOGGAN

MARSHMALLOW

2. What do the following words have in common?

TRACE

RATS

BLITZ

RISE

PRICE

CATER

HINTS:

1. Four related words are hidden in the clue words.

2. The same single letter will change each word to a new one.

Answers:

1. Hidden in each word is a swamp:

MIRE / FEN / BOG / MARSH 

2. Inserting an "N" in each word gives a new word:

TRANCE
RANTS
BLINTZ
RINSE
PRINCE
CANTER

LOOKING FOR LOVE

These are actual personal ads that appeared in Israeli newspapers.
Credit: Anna Welander/ Stan Kegel

Couch potato latke, in search of the right applesauce. Let's try it for eight days. Who knows?

Sincere rabbinical student, 27, enjoys celebrating Yom Kippur, Rosh Hashanah, observing the Shabbat, studying Torah and Talmud, attending synogogue. Seeking companion for living life in the fast lane.

Nice Jewish guy, 38. No skeletons, no baggage, no personality.

Israeli professor, 41, with 18 years of teaching in my behind. Looking for American-born woman who speaks English very good.

Jewish male, 34, very successful, smart, independent, self-made. Looking for girl whose father will hire me.

Female graduate student, studying Cabala, Zohar, numerology, exorcism of dybbuks. Seeks companion. No weirdos, please.

Desperately seeking Shmoozin'! Retired senior citizen desires female companion 70+ for kvetching and kvelling.

80-year old bubby, no assets, seeks handsome, virile Jewish male, under 35. Object matrimony. I can dream, can't I?

Divorced Jewish man, seeks partner to attend shul with, light Shabbas candles, celebrate High Holidays, build sukkah together, attend brisses, bar and bat mitzvahs. Religion not important.

Are you the girl I spoke with at the Kiddush after shul last week? You excused yourself to get more horseradish for your gefilte fish, but you never returned. How can I contact you again? (I was the one with the herring stain on my tie.)

OUT OF IT

How many words can you think of that can follow OUT OF ..................?

Answers:

service/ pocket/ court/ doors/ the blue/ the loop/ line/ work/ order/ state/ room/ hand/ your mind/ sight/ control/ patience/ ideas/ time/ business/ sorts/ touch/ range/ earshot/ the way/ joint

1. How many words can you think of that can precede BREAK?
2. How many words can you think of that can follow DEAD?

Answers:

1.
..................BREAK

winter/spring/coffee/lucky/tough/lunch/clean/jail/bad/study/commercial/station/service/prison/day/fast/heart
***************************************************

2. 
DEAD...................

beat/bolt/center/duck/end/eye/head/heat/letter (office)/lift/line/lock/Sea/weight

JUST ADD WATER

Credit: Daily Bulletin Newspaper Crossword
January 11, 2005

The answer to each clue below is a common word or phrase that can be preceded by the word water such that water and the first word of the clue also make up a common word or phrase.

Example:
clue: leader in a political poll---answer: water front runner

1. access the Internet
2. Z
3. yellow and black, for one
4. something to hope for, however unlikely
5. police bad guy ID method
6. your spouse or best girl or boyfriend
7. popular short-sleeved men's top
8. electricity outage
9. pass with a D
10. dining etiquette
11. miser

HINTS:
2. He left his mark.

3. kind of scheme

4. being a concert pianist or prima ballerina, for most of us

5. You have to pick one.
6. gimme a hug
9. standard playground equipment

Answers:

1. water log on
2. water Mark of Zorro
3. water color scheme
4. water pipe dream
5. water line up
6. water main squeeze
7. water polo shirt
8. water power failure
9. water slide by
10. water table manners
11. water tight wad

IT'S ELEMENTARY
Credit: LA Times Crossword (adapted)

Each clue below can be answered by a phrase using a homophone (loosely) for the name of an element.

1. What a rock will do if you drop it into a tank of water

2. What happens during a midnight snack

3. Famous route in western history

4. Take abuse or mistreatment without saying anything

5. What they do to most dead people

6. Make the most of the present time

7. Famous lyric from "My Fair Lady"

Answers:

1. Zinc like a stone
2. Radon the refrigerator

3. Argon Trail

4. Sulfur in silence

5. Barium

6. Cesium the day

7. The Uranium in Spanium falls mainly on the Plainium.

.............OR ELSE

Credit: LA Times Crossword --- 9/12/04

Each clue below can be answered by inserting OR into a word or adding it onto a word which is part of the answer.

Example 1: Muhammad Ali: "Float like a butterfly, (preserving) honey like..............stORing like a bee

Example 2: In Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam, and Thailand, special dishes not for outside use-----

IndoOR China

1. Where Don Quixote lives
2. Flawless singing by Pavarotti

3. John Deere's non-descript residence
4. Dull, uninteresting type of cherries

5. Site of the Merry Men's merry-making
6. The usual pigpen
7. Certain dog's kin in workers' negotiations
8. Fake philandering in other countries
9. Prohibiting too much alcohol and gossip
10. mushrooming funnyman who spoke Yiddish in Blazing Saddles

Answers:

1. manOR of La Mancha
2. perfect tenOR
3. tractOR house
4. bORing cherries
5. Sherwood fORest
6. same old stORy
7. labOR relations
8. fOReign affairs
9. rumOR contro1
10. mORel Brooks

FIRST, SECOND, THIRD

There are many words that can follow first and second, but what about........................

third ...............................
fourth .............................
fifth .................................
sixth ................................
seventh ...........................
eighth ..............................
ninth ................................
tenth .................................
eleventh ...........................
twelfth ...............................

What one common word could answer all of the clues correctly?
(Credit: Silvia Hartman)

(Possible) Answers:

third world
Fourth Estate
Fifth Column or Wheel
sixth sense
seventh heaven or son
eighth note
Ninth Symphony
tenth inning
eleventh hour
Twelfth Night

Street

HONOLULU LULU I

If a humdinger in Hawaii is a Honolulu lulu, what about these?

1. Nebraska chuckle
2. Cuban tease
3. California taboo
4. Japanese string toy
5. Illinois dancer
6. Ohio moron
7. Canadian farewell
8. Peruvian parent
9. Caribbean parent
10. Hans Arp work in Winnipeg
11. Mali dancewear

Answers:

1. Omaha haha
2. Havana nana
3. Fresno nono
4. Tokyo yo-yo
5. Chicago gogo
6. Toledo dodo
7. Alberta tata
8. Lima mama
9. Bahama mama
10. Canada Dada
11. Timbuktu tutu 

Credit #11: John Underwood

CITY SLICK

Each clue below can be answered by a wordplay using the name of a city. The name of the country in which the city is located is given as a hint.

1. fire a well-known baseball catcher (Australia)
2. automobile graveyard (Sudan)
3. stream by a hotel (Austria)
4. timid Green Gables resident (United States)
5. Zen-master harasser (Hungary)

Answers:

1. Canberra
2. Khartoum
3. Innsbruck
4. Cheyenne
5. Budapest

ARTLESS

Credit: LA Times Crossword

1. The same three-letter word can be added to or inserted into the following words to make five new words. What is the word?

HE

EH

HEH

TAN

STING

2. What do these phrases have in common?

HOME GAMES
POP SINGER
AFTER HOURS
PATRIOT ACT

3. What letter from the Greek alphabet completes each clue?

Breaking ................................... (plural)
Second hand ............................. (plural)
Boston cream ...........................
Audible .....................................

HINTS:
1. The title is a clue.

2. It's Greek to me.

Answers:

1. The word is ART:

HEART
EARTH
HEARTH
TARTAN
STARTING

2. A letter of the Greek alphabet is hidden in each phrase:

OMEGA
PSI
RHO
IOTA

3)

Breaking  Nus
Second hand RHOS
Boston cream PI
Audible PSI

1. What do these words have in common?

FAMILY

MUSH

STORE

ELBOW

DRAWING

LEG

2. What do these words have in common?

AUTHOR

NEW YORK

MONDAY

TWINKLE

ENCORE

3. What do the following words have in common?

CAT

DOG

JELLY

GOLD

ANGEL

CLOWN

SWORD

HINTS:
1. Each word can be followed by the same four-letter word.

3. Same as #1, but the four-letter word is different

Answers:

1. Each word can be followed by ROOM.
2. They are words commonly repeated twice.

3. Each word can be followed by FISH.

How many meanings can you think of for the letter X? There are at least twelve.

Possible answers:

1. Roman numeral for 10

2. Strike in bowling
3. Where you sign
4. How you sign if you can't sign
5. Where you are, on certain maps
6. The spot

7. Multiplication sign
8. Celebrated variable in algebra
9. Wrong
10. Female chromosome
11. Unknown identity 
12. Symbol for a kiss

Can you answer the clues below using homophones of only two different words? (The homophones are reversed in #3.)

1. Where the chips are in a supermarket, perhaps
2. "Let me find out."
3. Tahiti, for one

Answers:

1. aisle C
2. I'll see.
3. sea isle

DE - GRADE SCHOOL

To harshly criticize grades K-6--------- degrade school

1. A tyrant does a clean-up job.
2. A trip that misses Rome, Florence, and Venice
3. Dinner brought in
4. An empty space of no value
5. A poorly written and poorly typed mass mailing
6. To ridicule people's souls
7. Four brothers who share one room write a tell-all.
8. Scribble on a score and be punished for it
9. Put your toe in a gross swimming pool

HINTS:

The word that does not start with de:

1. mop

2. Italy

3. onions

4. merit

5. letter

6. spirits

7. beds

8. music

9. water

Answers:

1. Despot mop
2. Detour of Italy
3. Deliver and onions
4. Devoid of merit
5. Deform letter
6. Demean spirits
7. Debunk beds
8. Deface the music
9. Detest the water

IT'S A BOY (OR IS IT A GIRL?)

Can you name the male and female of each of these animals?

1. Sheep

2. Swan

3. Horse (young)

4. Horse (adult)

5. Deer

6. Rabbit

7. Duck

8. Pig

9. Fox

10. Goat

11. Goose
12. Chicken

Answers:

1. Ram and ewe

2. Cob and pen

3. Colt and filly

4. Stallion and mare

5. Buck and doe

6. Buck and doe

7. Drake and duck

8. Boar and sow

9. Fox and vixen

10. Billy and nanny

11. Gander and goose
12. Rooster and hen

TEN RIDDLES

1. William Tell and his family were members of a bowling team, but the name of that team is lost in history. What does this mean? We'll never know...............
2. What was wrong with the restaurant on the moon?
3. What are the names of the three men who live together in a retirement home?
4. What is black when new, white when being used, and gray when old?
5. What was the writing tablet's favorite TV channel?
6. What four-letter word is both a piece of cake and a cookie?
7. How can you always have the last word in an argument?
8. It runs all day, but never walks; it often murmurs, but never talks.
9. Can you think of two words which together name one common food, but which separately name two universities?

Answers:

1. For Whom the Tells Bowled
2. It had no atmosphere.
3. Charley Horse, Arthur Itis, and Ben Gay
4. Charcoal
5. Pay per view
6. A snap
7. Say you're sorry.
8. A stream
9. Brown/Rice

A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME I

If the guy floating gently on the waves is BOB, who is the...............

1. Girl standing in the swamp

2. Man seasoning the soup

3. Guy using the PA system

4. Girl taking me to court

5. Guy changing the tire

6. Lion tamer trainee

7. Student heading to PE class

8. Boy doing subtraction problems
9. Guy drinking coffee
10. Fella who tells it like it is
11. Guy who keeps bugging you
12. Guy who loves trying on clothes
13. Guy with the spear

14. Girl at the beach

15. Girl learning Morse Code

16. Girl who can't stand up straight

17. Guy who's gonna get it

18. Man who cut himself shaving

Answers:

1. Marsha

2. Herb

3. Mike

4. Sue

5. Jack

6. Claude

7. Jim

8. Les
9. Joe

10. Frank
11. Harry
12. Don
13. Lance

14. Sandy

15. Dot

16. Eileen

17. Will

18. Nick

FOUR JOKES
Credit: Reader's Digest

1. Striking up a conversation with the attractive woman seated beside him on a coast-to-coast flight, a would-be Romeo asked, "What kind of man attracts you?" "I've always been drawn to Native American men," she replied. "They're in harmony with nature." "I see," said the man, nodding in understanding. "But then I'm also attracted to Jewish men who put women on a pedestal, and Southern gentlemen who treat their ladies with so much respect." "Please allow me to introduce myself," said the man. "My name is.............................

2. Fire swept the plains and burned down the farmer's barn. While he surveyed the damage, his wife called their insurance company and asked them to send a check for $50,000, the amount of insurance on the barn. "We don't give you the money," a company officer explained. "We replace the barn and all the equipment in it." "Oh, I see," said the woman. "In that case, ...............

3. A couple whose passion had waned consulted a marriage counselor. Several appointments later, after little success, the therapist suddenly swept the woman into his arms and kissed her.
"You see," the counselor said to the husband, "this is the treatment your wife needs---Monday, Thursday, and Saturday, at least." "Well," replied the husband, "...............

4. In a booming voice, a cantor bragged to his congregation, "Two years ago, I insured my voice with Lloyd's of London for $750,000." The crowded room was hushed. Suddenly an elderly woman spoke. "So," she said, "............................

Answers:

1. Tecumseh Goldstein, but all my friends call me Bubba."
2. cancel the policy I have on my husband."
3. I can bring her in here on Thursday and Saturday, but Monday's my bowling night."
4. What did you do with the money?"

NU?

In Yiddish, the word "Nu" is used to follow a question or comment and implies a question itself---such as, "What do you think?"---"Don't you agree?" Here is an example of the proper use of this word.

Story Credit: Stan Kegel

A rabbi and a priest were seated next to each other on a plane. During the long flight, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked him if Jews were still forbidden to eat pork. The rabbi replied that yes, that prohibition was still in force. The priest then asked the rabbi if he had ever faltered and eaten pork. The rabbi replied that yes, he was tempted once and and ate a ham sandwich. Some time later, the rabbi turned to the priest and asked him if priests were still required to be celibate. The priest replied that they were. The rabbi then asked the priest if he had ever faltered in this area. The priest replied that yes, he was once tempted by a woman and he could not resist her. After a minute the rabbi said, "Better than a ham sandwich, nu?"

What do these ten sentences have in common?

1. That memo never reached my desk.
2. She was the last woman to be interviewed.
3. Faith re-entered the discussion.
4. America is the home of our fathers.
5. Please drop this off; I've got to run another errand.
6. If they're originals, I xerox them.
7. Falling asleep is a New Year's Eve no-no.
8. We rode in a sleigh to the pond.
9. Imagine! A man on the moon! I never thought I'd see it!
10. I always vote no on propositions.

HINT:
Hidden in each sentence is a word appropriate only to that sentence.

Answer:

Each clue has its corresponding number written out, but hidden, in its sentence.