PUNCTUATION COUNTS I

A clever dog knows its master.

A clever dog knows it's master.

The butler stood by the door and called the guests' names.

The butler stood by the door and called the guests names.

I'm sorry you can't come with us.

I'm sorry. You can't come with us.

Private---no swimming allowed!

Private? No. Swimming allowed.

Go slow-----children.

Go slow, children.

It's time to eat, Dad.

It"s time to eat Dad.

I'm stuck on her.

I'm stuck with her.

A woman without her man is nothing.

A woman! Without her, man is nothing.

I saw a man-eating shark at the aquarium.

I saw a man eating shark at the restaurant.

Comment from an astronaut's wife:

"I need my spaceman."

"I need my space, man."

What is this thing called love?
What is this thing called, Love?

Newspaper correction:

Dorothy Jones pleaded not guilty, not guilty

Dorothy Jones pleaded "not guilty," not "guilty."

Never end a sentence with a preposition:

"Why did you bring that book I told you not to read out of up for?"

"There are some things up with which I cannot put."

Winston Churchill

The following verse makes sense when punctuated appropriately:

There is a lady in the land

With twenty nails on each hand.

Five and twenty on hands and feet;

This is true without deceit.

There is a lady in the land with twenty nails.

On each hand five,

And twenty on hands and feet.

This is true without deceit.

Two very different interpretations may be read in this ancient counsel from the oracle at

Delphi:

Thou shalt go thou shalt return

never by war shalt thou perish

Thou shalt go, thou shalt return;

Never by war shalt thou perish.

or

Thou shalt go, thou shalt return never;

By war shalt thou perish.

The following text is proper English when punctuated correctly:

That that is is that that is not is not that that is not is not that that is that that is is not that that is not is that it it is

That that is, is. That that is not, is not. That that is not, is not that that is. That that is, is not that that is not. Is that it? It is!

SPELLING COUNTS

Letter from husband on vacation to his wife at home:

Having a great time. Wish you were here.

Having a great time. Wish you were her.

SPELLING AND PUNCTUATION COUNT

Note from Mrs. Jones to her minister to read aloud:

Bill Jones, having gone to sea, his wife desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety.
Bill Jones, having gone to see his wife, desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety.