STOP THE PRESSES!
Credit: GAMES Magazine
August, 1983
Dave Downey

The stories described by the these fictitious newspaper headlines are actually the titles of eight nursery rhymes. Can you guess the rhyme from the headline?

1. UN-COOPERATIVE HORTICULTURALIST INTERROGATED ABOUT NURSERY

2. DINING DEB ALARMED BY ARACHNID

3. ELDERLY PET OWNER NOTES FOOD SHORTAGE

4. FLUTIST'S SON CONVICTED IN SWINE LARCENY

5. WOMAN ATTACKS RODENT TRIO WITH A BLADE

6. BOY, GIRL INJURED IN TOPPLE FROM WELL

7. SHEPHERDESS CONSOLED AFTER DISAPPEARANCE OF HERD

8. TWO DOZEN LIVE POULTRY FOUND IN ROYAL DESSERT

Answers:

1. "Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary"
2. "Little Miss Muffit"
3. "Old Mother Hubbard"
4. "Tom Tom, the Piper's Son"
5. "Three Blind Mice"
6. "Jack and Jill"
7. "Little Bo-Peep"
8. "Sing a Song of Sixpence"