DID YOU HEAR ABOUT XXVI

Credit: NY Times Crossword
January 12, 1997
Mel Rosen
I WANTED TO BE A...................

Did you hear about........................

1. the guy who wanted to be a faith healer, but.....?
2. the guy who wanted to be a masseur, but.....?
3. the guy who wanted to be a mime, but.....?
4. the guy who wanted to be a Sumo wrestler, but.....?
5. the guy who wanted to publish e. e. cummings' works.....?

Answers:

1. he lacked hands-on experience.
2. he rubbed people the wrong way.
3. he talked himself out of it.
4. he quit when push came to shove. 
5. he was under-capitalized.