DID YOU HEAR ABOUT XXVII

Did you hear about...................

1. The guy who had an incompetent divorce lawyer?
2. The moth that blundered into a two-year old's birthday party?
3. The monkey whose sister was going to have a baby?
4. The van loaded with copies of Roget's Thesaurus that collided with a taxi?

Answers:

1. He got his wife back. 
2. He burned his end at both candles.
3. He kept saying, "Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle." 
4. Witnesses were astounded, shocked, taken aback, surprised, startled, dumbfounded, thunderstruck, caught unawares