JOKES

Mugger to victim. Give me your money.
Victim: Don't do this. I'm a U.S. Congressman.
             You're making a big mistake."
Mugger: You're right. Give me my money.

Football player to friend: My girlfriend was faithful to the end.
Friend: That's wonderful.
Football player: But I was a halfback.

Dentist: Do your wisdom teeth hurt?
Patient: No, they smart.

Diplomat husband to wife:
Happy anniversary, Edith. Here's to 27 years of detente.

One leftover to another: Foiled again.

Woman shopper to companion:
She's planning a plain, simple wedding, starting with the bridegroom.

Credit 1st riddle:
Paula Gamache