JOKES

   A sales representative stops at a small manufacturing plant in the Midwest. He presents a box of cigars to the manager as a gift. "No thanks," says the plant manager. "I tried smoking a cigar once and I didn't like it."
   The sales rep shows his display case and then, hoping to clinch a sale, offers to take the manager out for martinis. "No thanks," the plant manager replies. "I tried alcohol once, but I didn't like it."
   Then the salesman glances out the window and sees a golf course. "I suppose you play golf," says the salesman. "I'd like to invite you to be a guest at my club."
   "No thanks," the manager says. " I played golf once, but I didn't like it." Just then a young man enters the office. "Let me introduce you to my son Bill," says the plant manager.
   "Let me guess," the salesman replies. "An only child?"
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Football coach La Vell Edwards of Brigham Young University, when asked why his teams weren't invited to the top college football bowl games:  BYU fans come to town with a $100 bill and the Ten Commandments in their pockets. And they don't break either."