IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT - 2019

Below are some "winners" from the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest of 2019. Please see DARK AND STORMY NIGHT post of JULY 8, 2014 for an explanation of this contest.

Grand Panjandrum's Special Award
Emile Zola wandered the dank and soggy streets of a gloomy Parisian night, the injustice of the Dreyfus affair weighing on him like a thousand baguettes, dreaming of some massage or therapy to relieve the tension and pain in his aching shoulders and back, and then suddenly he thought of  his Italian friends and their newly invented warm water bath with air jets and he rapturously exclaimed that oft misquoted declaration - - - "Jacuzzi!"
Robert R. Moore, North Falmouth, MA

Romance - Dishonorable Mention
Gregory was falling in love with the doe-eyed Nora, not knowing that she could be an infuriating, complicated woman at times, like one of those self-service checkout machines at the grocery store where you can never figure out where to insert the money or get your change, plus the scanner never recognizes your jar of Vlasic sweet pickles so you have to call the attendant.
Steve Lynch, Tucson, AZ

Historical Fiction - Winner
Contrary to public opinion, Jehosephat - the 9th-century (BCE) king of Judah who reigned for twenty-five mostly peaceful years yet is mostly known for his defeat of the Moabites at Elin Gedi in 849 BCE - rarely jumped.
Dave Beck, El Cerrito, CA

Vile Puns - Winner
After purchasing an oval frying pan at the diminutive British aristocrat's yard sale, Nigel realized that he'd just taken a long wok off a short peer.
Bart King, Portland, Oregon