JOKES

From Reader's Digest  

Contributed by W. Robert Watson 

 

   There's a joke going around Naval bases about a computer that was developed to converse on an intellectual level based on the I.Q. score punched in. To test the machine, the score 180 was put in, and the computer began to discuss quantum mechanics. For a further test, the score 120 was punched, and the computer began to discuss current events. Then, for a final test, the score 55 was punched in, and the computer began to sing, "From the Halls of Montezuma . . . . ."

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From Reader's Digest 

Contributed by Leon S. Lawrence

   While stationed in Japan, I played golf at a course near Tokyo where most of the good caddies were women. One day I arrived at the course late and had to take a young boy as a caddie. He was too small, knew little about the game, and spoke only three words of English, but I chose him for my caddie for the remainder of my tour. After every shot, regardless of results, he would proclaim loudly and enthusiastically, "Damned fine shot!"

 

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   Two elderly women visiting a farm spent much of the day watching chickens. Suddenly a rooster started chasing one of the hens, whereupon the pursued fowl ran out into the road and was hit by a car. 

   "See, Elsie," one of the women said, "she'd rather die."