RESUME REGRETS IV

Employers get so many resumes that it is a challenge to get them to pay attention to yours. The actual comments below probably got some attention, but not the kind the applicants were after.

1. Salary requirements: The higher the better

2. Salary desired: Starting over due to recent bankruptcies. Need large bonus when starting job

3. References: Bill, Tom, and Eric - but I don't know their phone numbers

4. Personal: I limit important relationships to people who want to do what I want them to do.

5. Objective: Student today. Vice president tomorrow.

6. Achievements: First runner-up for Miss Fort Worth, 1982

7. Reason for leaving last job: Bounty hunting was outlawed in my state.

8. Objective: To become Overlord of the Galaxy

9. What are you looking for in a job? #1) money #2) money #3) money

10. Awards: National record for eating 45 eggs in two minutes