JOKES

From Reader's Digest

Ernest J. Newman

Quoted by Enid Nemy 

New York Times

 

   My friend's daughter-in-law took her six-year old son to a matinee at the Metropolitan Opera in New York City. "Mom," the boy whispered during the performance, "why is that man in the orchestra threatening the woman on stage with his stick?" 

   "He's not threatening  her. That's a baton. He uses it to conduct the orchestra," the mother explained.

   "Well, if he's not threatening her," the boy continued, "then why is she screaming?" 

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From Reader's Digest 

Contributed by Jeanne Cummings

 

Brad was a smart 4th grader, but he did not like to do his daily assignments. One day he told his teacher that he had learned enough and did not need any more schooling. "Really"? said his teacher. "And what do you plan to do with a 4th grade education? she asked. "Teach third grade," he answered.