THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY

Ambrose Bierce

P

 

Pain -  An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis,  or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.

Patience - A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.

Peace - In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.

Penitent - Undergoing or awaiting punishment

Perseverance - A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success

Philosophy - A route of many words leading from nowhere to nothing

Picture - A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three

Please - A word to lay the foundation for a superstructure of imposition

Pleasure - The least hateful form of dejection

Pleonasm - An army of words escorting corporal of thought

Politeness - The most acceptable hypocrisy

Politics - The conduct of public affairs for private advantage

Positive - Mistaken at the top of one's voice

Pray - To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy

Predicament - The wage of consistency

Preference - A sentiment or frame of mind induced by the erroneous belief that one thing is better than another

 

Prerogative - A sovereign's right to do wrong 

Prescription - A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient

Present - That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope

Presidency - The greased pig in the field game of American politics

Providential - Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it