RIDDLES

1. Q: Want to travel?

    A:

2. What's a savoyard?

3. Why is it important to learn subtraction?

4. What common word is the plural of a plural, but is considered correct?

5. What did Chicken Little say before she was squashed by the Sumo wrestler?

6. Trick question (bad pun): What do football players and weight lifters have in common? 

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For some reason, violas and viola players are the butt of dozens of musical jokes. It might have something to do with the viola being neither a violin nor a cello. (Most of the jokes are by violinists.) I believe it is also a hard instrument to tune and difficult to play well. Whatever the reason, here is a sample of some of the jokes and riddles:

7. How do you keep your violin from being stolen?

8. What' the difference between a viola and a trampoline?

9. What's the definition of "perfect pitch"?

10. Why do violists stand for long periods of time outside people's houses? 

11. How can you tell when a violist is playing out of tune?

12. Why do so many people take an instant dislike to the viola?

13. What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

14. What's the latest crime wave in New York City?

15. Did you hear about the violist who played in tune? 

Answers:

1. Q: Want to travel?

    A: Be a telemarketer. They call from everywhere.

 

2.  A fan and enthusiast of Gilbert and Sullivan operettas (after the Savoy Theater in London where they were first produced)

 

3. So you can make a difference

 

4. Operas (Opera is the plural of opus)

 

5. "This guy is falling."

 

6. Football players block and tackle. Machines that are used to "lift weight" with a rope and pulleys are called block and tackle. 

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7. Put it in a viola case.

 

8.  You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

 

9. Throwing a viola into a dumpster without hitting the sides

 

10. The can't find the key and they don't know when to come in.

 

11. The bow is moving.

 

12. It saves time.

 

13. Everyone's happy when the case is closed.

 

14. Drive-by viola recitals

 

15. Neither did I.