IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT - ARCHIVE III

"Winners" and Dishonorable Mentions from the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest Archive 

1996

"Ace, watch your head!" hissed Wanda urgently, yet somehow provocatively, through red, full, sensuous lips, but he couldn't you know, since nobody can actually watch more than part of his nose or a little cheek or lips if he really tries, but he appreciated her warning.

Janice Estey, Aspen, Colorado 

 

Because the Indians of the high Andes were believed to have little sense of humor, Professor Juan Lyner was amazed to hear this knee-slapper that had apparently been around for centuries at all the Inca hot spots: "Llama ask you this. Guanaco on a picnic? Alpaca lunch."

John L. Ashman, Houston, Texas 

 

The disillusionment of the members of the inner-city Boys' Club with their trip to the country began when they discovered that a hoe-down wasn't what they thought it would be.

Tom W. Glaser, Hollywood, Florida 

 

1997

The moment he laid eyes on the lifeless body of the nude socialite sprawled across the bathroom floor, Detective Leary knew she had committed suicide by grasping the cap on the tamper-proof bottle, pushing down and twisting while she kept her thumb firmly pressed against the spot the arrow pointed to, until she hit the exact spot where the tab clicks into place, allowing her to remove the cap and swallow the entire contents of the bottle, thus ending her life.

Artie Kalemeris, Fairfax, Virginia