IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT - 2002/2004

Below are some "winners" from the 2002 and 2004 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. Please see the DARK AND STORMY NIGHT post from July 8, 2014 for an explanation of this contest.

2002
"All rise," said the bailiff of the Judge of the Company vs Workers' Comp., "except those with tendonitis, eye strain, headaches, neck pain, pinched nerves, carpal tunnel syndrome, repetitive stress injuries, lumbosacral sprain, ruptured disks, temporomandibular joint pain, chronic fatigue syndrome, mental disorders, smoke inhalation, black lung disease, concussions, Agent Orange exposure, or anthrax poisoning," leaving only the two workers' comp lawyers standing in the courtroom, looking sheepishly at their feet.
Debra Rosenfeld

2004
Jack had planted the magic beans and in one night and a giant beanstalk grew all the way from the earth up to the clouds - which sounds like a lie, but it can be done with genetic engineering, and although a few people are against eating gene-engineered food like those beans it's a high-paying career to think about for when you grow up.
Frances Grimble

When Cinderella saw that the Prince had sent the Duke to find the woman of his dreams, like some rich schoolboy who pays the smartest kid in the class to do his homework, like someone who has been on welfare so long that he has trouble doing any kind of work, she suddenly realized the spoiled nature of the king's son and stealthily slid the slipper into her pocket.
Milton Combs

"This town's not big enough for the two of us," growled Slim Jenkins, "but I think if we can get the townspeople to agree to issue a bond to annex the Carter Ranch, we can then incorporate and there should be plenty of room for everyone.
Patrick G. McNamara