DUH XXIII

 

I called the local pharmacy to get their hours.

Clerk: City Pharmacy. How may I help you?

Me: What are your hours?

Clerk: Well, today I work until five, but I'm off at three the rest of the week. 

Waiter to couple: Today's dinner-for-two special is twin lobsters.

Husband: How do you know they're twins? 

A state trooper pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing in the car, he was amazed to see that the elderly woman behind the wheel was knitting. 

The trooper lowered his window and yelled to her: "Pull over!"

"No!" the woman yelled back, "Cardigan."